I was wrong. I prefer my bald head to short brown hair. For me, the brown hair was just further insult to my loss of sense of self. I'll take the bald. Even if it screams cancer, that's fine. I have cancer. Or had it. Unclear which.
I had an interesting side effect week. Lots of nausea. Headaches again. Fatigue. And new to me, big, full body shudders. And all the questions that go along with that: seizures? strokes? Bilateral effects? Fevers? Chills? Neurological effects? Not sure.
The fatigue is funny. It isn't a "gosh, I'm tired and need to sleep." It's closer to the engine just shuts off. Sort of like an electric car at a stop sign. Which is inconvenient when it's your mind that shuts off.
I'm down to one treatment. Even for a superstitious girl, I'm essentially done. Though I do tend to trip near the radiation finish line.
My emotional state is best likened to water clogged ears. I can still hear what you are saying - just not that well. I'm slightly dislocated from the scene. I smile and laugh at the jokes one beat late. I am road weary and it shows.
The universe provides and so do you. Ice cream. Chocolates. Chanel. Flowers and flowers. Cards and cards. Fruit. Brownies. Cookies. Meals. Grocery gift cards. School pick-ups. School research. Prayers. Concern. Support. Strength. Thank you.
